How to Get Free from Porn

by newmedialabsCCC on April 27, 2010

Author anonymous

[Editor’s note: Women struggle with addiction to porn, as well as men. This article is worded from a man’s perspective, but if you are a woman drawn to porn, please apply the same principles.]

The Internet is an awesome tool, but it can be very destructive as well. Being a man, a follower of Jesus, and having struggled with lust as well, I will try to give you straightforward and aggressive advice.

Taking all of the following together you have a fighting chance. Picking and choosing isn’t an option. Success with all of them is still questionable over a short period of time. This will require commitment and patience. You will fall down. Get back up and continue.

The problem is SIN. Pornography is incredible destructive. You can’t be a “recreational user.” You wouldn’t carelessly handle a snake, scorpion or venomous spider.

The sinful part about pornography is that…

  • It objectifies women (turns them into mere objects). It degrades people, who have eternal souls, whom God loves, who are made in the image of God, and makes them into “playthings” for your amusement.
     
  • It creates unrealistic expectations for the person you will marry or are already married to. Expectations that spouse will in no way be able to fulfill.
     
  • It creates unrealistic expectations for you as well and how you are “supposed” to be able to perform. You don’t get the benefit of stopping the camera and starting it again.
     
  • Pornography is addictive. The reason why you can’t stop thinking about it during the day is that pornography is literally rewiring your brain (neural pathways) to crave the effects of adrenaline, dopamine and serotonin.
     
  • Pornography isn’t “just” sin. It is also physiological and has very little to do with sex. As stated above you are creating new neural pathways for your brain to use. These are tremendously strong patterns and are incredibly resistant to change. These pathways are strengthened every time you look at porn and masturbate.

Advice/Action:

  1. Take action – Mechanical – Try things like setting an alarm on your phone to go to bed before it’s really late. Put your phone and computer away in a drawer at a certain time. Put a porn blocker on your computer and phone and ask a trusted friend to set the access codes and hold you accountable.
     
  2. Be afraid of being anonymous – Study, research or work where there are people. Don’t be on your phone or laptop when there is no one around you. You already know that you will tell yourself so many lies to get what you want. Realize it. Deal with it and move toward freedom and victory.
     
  3. Begin a Personal Relationship with Jesus Christ If you don’t have a real relationship with God read this: https://www.everystudent.com/features/gettingconnected.html
     
  4. Put your faith in God, not in yourself. You cannot do this alone. You must learn how to yield to the Holy Spirit and have his power to be successful. I suggest you sign up for Skip the Stress email series.
     
  5. Emotional – Agree with your fear. You are afraid of battling something which is now controlling you. Condition yourself to literally be afraid of thinking about pornography. As soon as you begin to have cravings associate them with fear. However you are able to muster that feeling, do it. Truth is, you really ought to be afraid it. You realize, innately, you are heading in the wrong direction but lust drives you deeper into the behavior. Do everything in your power to stop the behavior. Don’t make deals with yourself, for instance saying, “Just this one last time.” or “I’m just going to do some surfing” when you already know where the activity it is heading.
     
  6. Relationally – Make sure you’re hanging around friends who do not support the use of porn. This seems obvious but it isn’t easy. Bad company makes it easy to compromise your standards. Get involved with a good church that teaches the Bible or if you are a student a campus ministry. Make yourself accountable. Care less of what people may think of you and more about your spiritual renewal. Sin is ugly and embarrassing. Man-up and do the right thing – it will be very hard – no getting around that.
     
  7. Physically – If you aren’t exercising, eating poorly, and getting a lack of quality sleep you are making it easier for yourself to cave in to lust. If you aren’t a disciplined person you will not be able to be able to do the hard work of changing your habits. Researchers say that it takes approximately 21 days to form a new habit. So TODAY say to yourself, “Enough’s enough! I will do the hard work of resisting the temptation to surf the web, hit my favorite sites and masturbate.” You have to commit – there is no simple cure all – you’re either afraid of the addiction or you’re not. Admit to yourself that when you can’t stop doing something, that’s called an addiction. Just say you are an addict and it will make it a lot easier. Then, with the Holy Spirit’s empowering, take back the control of your life.

Even if you could possibly do all that I’ve shared with you, you’re not likely to succeed at it right away. But keep at it. Keep pushing forward. You will want to quit immediately if you mess up. DON’T! In all the areas above DON’T QUIT!

Here’s my prayer for you…

Father, I pray that You will give ________ the ability to fight against his own flesh. Give him courage to start, maintain and complete this very difficult task. Encourage him through others who are willing to speak truth to him. Help him to see your truth in your word, the Bible. Encourage him as he turns to you in prayer. Don’t allow him to think of himself as less than Your son. It’s in Jesus’ name I ask. Amen.

Here are some guiding passages to help you in your journey to freedom:

  • Exodus 20:14
  • Psalm 101:3
  • Matthew 5:28
  • 1 Corinthians 10:13
  • 1 Corinthians 6:13
  • 2 Timothy 2:22
  • 1 John 2:16
  • Proverbs 6:25
  • Galatians 5:16
  • Romans 8:6
  • James 1:14-15
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